Monday, November 1, 2010

"No Bow Lesbo," or Straight Pressure

A friend recently reported to me that--not so much in Ann Arbor, but in some other parts of southeastern Michigan, it is common for girls who play high school softball to wear bows in their hair. And if you don't?

Then you might be tagged a 

"No Bow Lesbo."

In other words, if you don't wear a bow in your hair, you must be a lesbian. Since kids generally don't want to be tagged a lesbian by others (whatever their personal identity)...the pressure to wear bows is on.

And it's this kind of insidious pressure...this semi-conscious use of name-calling...that is emblematic of the ways in which issues around sexual orientation are not just about BULLYING.

I mean, I wouldn't call that bullying. But is it name calling? Yes. Is it a culture of respect? No. Is it wrong? Yes. What are we doing about it?


  1. The best softball players I knew were lesbians. Some of them are still around here in prestigious jobs. Like they say...It gets better once you get out of high school.

  2. That could be true, but why should girls--whether lesbians or not--feel pressure to wear BOWS in their HAIR to either prove they are not lesbians or hide their identity? It just makes me mad!

  3. They shouldn't feel pressure, is the answer, they should just stop wearing bows because they look ridiculous and they should stand up for one another as they buck the bow :-)